Wanna See My Sausage?

basil, sausage, zucchini, tomato, dinner, summer, mushroom
Opting to skip the gym last night, I spent my evening dirtying most of the pots I own reinterpreting the Italian classic: sausage and peppers.

I had hot Italian sausage from my favorite Italian deli. It would be an insult to my ancestors to let that go to waste. So, I surveyed the fridge and pantry pulling orzo, an onion, a poblano pepper, zucchini and some cherry tomatoes. That’s all it took for this weeknight masterpiece. Continue reading Wanna See My Sausage?

Carlos Danger and Geraldo Don’t Do Salads

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Carlos Danger/Anthony Weiner sends dick pics.

Geraldo posted a topless pic. He later apologized saying, “I was drunk and lonely.”

Aren’t we all Geraldo? Aren’t we all.

As a slew of stories come out of public figures sending pics of themselves, let’s take a moment to acknowledge the true purpose of having a camera phone. Gratuitous food closeups.

Last night’s salad featured almost every ingredient from the produce department: romaine, spinach, avocado, red onion, red bell pepper, grilled green beans. Add marinated, grilled chicken, quinoa, and chunks of pepper jack cheese. If that weren’t enough, I topped it all with fresh salsa verde.

I also noticed “fat free” on my bag of spinach. Are people really on the fence? “I don’t know about this green shit. Is it healthy?”

Sadly this salad has yet to receive the same attention as a congressional dick.

I’m in Love…

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I remember something in the Bible about making food your god. Or maybe it was to not make food your god? If it was the latter, I think God must have been rushed to crank out His “Thou Shall Not’s” and didn’t think it out fully. Because if He/She had waited the hour for smoked chicken, there would’ve been some different rules enumerated in the Good Book, which probably would’ve resembled a cook book. God probably didn’t want to share all the secret family recipes like an Italian’s pasta sauce or a perfectly spiced curry or a succulent gumbo.

Continue reading I’m in Love…

Ain’t No Party Like an Al Pastor Party

20130713-193943.jpgHow do you kickstart a conversation?

Person #1: Hi. I’m Mr. So-and-So.

Me:  Hi, I’m Andrew.

Person #1: Where’d you go to school? What do you do?

After everyone in the small group answers, an awkward silence results. We have all been in one of these dead end conversations. It’s painful. You look down at your glass, wishing the libation were stronger or that there were more of it. I tried unsuccessfully to spark the conversation asking about upcoming summer travel, passions, and any recent good reads.

You can read all the books and blogs about networking or developing your inner extrovert, but I discovered a secret yet to be enumerated. And it goes against all conventional wisdom. Continue reading Ain’t No Party Like an Al Pastor Party

Learning to Lose

16 men. 10 sports. 3 days. 2 bathrooms. 1 house.

“If you ain’t first, you’re last.” -Reese Bobby

For the past dozen years, a group of friends has gotten together to celebrate camaraderie and competition. In those years, the Pseudo Decathlon has evolved into a 3-day-weekend extravaganza with brackets, a clipboard, a trip to Costco and memory cards full of pictures.

Continue reading Learning to Lose

Skinny Chef Gains 3 Pounds. Blogs About It.

I did something.

Something I’m not proud of.

At some point during the past 3 weeks I gained 3-4 pounds. And no, I didn’t just eat a delicious Chipotle barbacoa burrito.

This is my life.

For those who have yet to meet me, I was recently described as “ridiculously skinny.” Was it comments from family on the multitude of my food pictures? Or a subliminal seed planted by med student friends who warned that my metabolism will slow as I age and that the “Burrito-a-day” plan isn’t “healthy”?

Am I going through the change?! If I continue at this rate, how long do I have before my BMI surpasses my age? Continue reading Skinny Chef Gains 3 Pounds. Blogs About It.

Man’s Other Best Friend

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Festival season is upon us. That means fun party games like, “High or Just that Strange?” After a day of condo hunting, walking around the Blues Fest and Old Town Art Fair, I was fascinated by two things:

  1. Why do people bring their dogs to public events?
  2.  What am I going to eat for dinner?

So, inspired by man’s best friend, I turned to my best friend: the cast iron skillet. Continue reading Man’s Other Best Friend